Chapter Ten

For a while nothing happened. After that nothing happened for a while more. Then, there was some more nothing followed by zilch. Nada. The Sat Nav was on, the button had been pressed and the only part flashing was the small red blip signalling where they were. As climaxes go, this was up there with paint finishing its drying sequence and a kettle boiling. Jake had to admit it, he was unimpressed. Harris was too only slightly more vocal.

‘If you’ll excuse me everyone I’m going to go upstairs and insert this Sat-Nav into our writer friends Japs-Eye.’

‘Hang on a minute Harris’ Jake exclaimed, desperately trying to make some good of the situation. Let one of us try it before we go up there and add GBH to the numerous laws we have already broken today.

‘What difference does it make who uses it? We both saw Susan press the button and nothing happened. This Sat-Nav is supposed to take you to where you want to be most in the whole world? Well, unless Susan has a penchant for pavements outside poky flats in Surrey then I think it’s safe to say Percy fed us a crock of shit’

‘Just let me try it first is all I’m asking’ Jake outstretched his hand to try the Sat-Nav again. Harris grabbed his arm.

‘Hang on. Why should you try it before me?’

‘What does it matter if it’s all a crock of shit? Anyway you were fine to let Susan try it a minute ago. What’s going on between the two of you?’

‘Look. We’ll both press it at the same time. Ok?’

‘Fine. But for the record, your only hear because of me. I’m Han Solo. You’re Chewbacca. Just remember that’.

They pressed the button on the Sat Nav simultaneously.

Suddenly it whirred into life. All the little buttons started whirring and bleeping and even Harris looked suitably impressed. After 15 seconds it stopped just as suddenly as it had started and a female voice with the manner of a slightly vexed primary school teacher spoke shrilly to them. ‘At the next junction turn left’.

Susan and Jake both cheered.

‘Don’t get too excited’ Harris said. ‘We don’t know where it’s taking us yet’ but Jake could see that he too was pumped. Harris turned the keys into ignition and the car burst into life. Susan and Jake both cheered again as they sped off; only for Harris to stall 20 yards up the road.

‘Are you sure your safe to drive this automobile Ryan Harris?’ asked Susan timidly.

‘Course I am. I nearly passed my test 3 months ago’